Between Friday and Monday

This is the time we all cherish...the time between when the bus drops us off on Friday night and picks us up again on Monday morning. It's a time for introspection and family. A time for memories, and meals with our loved ones and a time to think "why is my back pack so pickin' heavy?"

Well the back pack is an important piece of commuting hardware. It has to hold all of my "stuff" that I "might" need during the day. Plus the "stuff" that I really do need every day. There's a good reason for everything in it...some are really good, and some are just sorta good.

First there's my laptop. Gotta bring that back and forth every day...company rules. And this is the primary reason for carying such a hideous back pack. It really is ugly. Some are really cool looking...not mine. Mine is functional. Ultra functional. Who would steal such a thing? Looks like I'm going camping for a week!

The first thing you notice is my rolled up blanket. The one for those hot summer days when my legs freeze because of the AC. It really looks like a bed-roll...and in a way it is. It fits nicely into the slot that someone designed for a skateboard. But a skateboard IN your back pack? C'mon. If you have your board then you're riding it and wearing the back pack. No one WEARS their skateboard. I'm sure he got a promotion for that idea. It's why I bought it.

The inside is cavernous. With no less than 12 separate pouches for everything like (you knew this was coming):
Bus Pass
ear phones
ear plugs
cough drops
anti-histimine
kleenex ("tissues" for the rest of you)
inflatable pillow
last months bus pass (why is that in there)
work badge
various insundry medecines:
Vicks DayQuil
Dramamine (don't ask...OK I had vertigo really bad once...these saved my life!)
oscillococcinum (don't ask me...I'm no doctor)
January's bus pass (I should really clean those out once in a while)
2G thumb drive (no geek is without one)
blue tooth headset (get ready for July, all the rest of you)
blue tooth charger
phone charger
micro umberella (just in case)
regular umbrella (but really small)
A FLOPPY DISK! (sometimes I amaze even myself!)
spare inflatable pillow (stop laughing...mine went flat on Friday night!)
Guaranteed Ride Home (talk to your HR department about this one...awesome!)
duct tape (again, pick yourself up off the floor...we actually used this to fix the bus once so we could get to work. Mine is White...matches the bus color :)

OK...that's about it. On Monday morning the lunch fairy will have my lunch all ready to go and waiting in the 'fridge. It'll go in last (heavy items on the bottom, of course). Hoist it up and head out the door. Again, be sure to not fully waken on the way out. Have it all ready to go the night before so you don't have to actually think before leaving.

Oh...remember the part about how far you can walk with your eyes shut? A note to those who might take that too seriously..."DO NOT TRY THIS WHILE DRIVING".

Friday Morning

I walk up to the bus stop this morning and this conversation ensues:
"Mornin'"
"Mornin'"
"Say, I saw a police cruiser with lights and sirens blaring...got on the freeway heading our way"
"Really? Hmmm...maybe there's a wreck on the freeway. Awesome!"
"You think? Sweet! That would be a nice change from the normal Friday ride"
"Ya, I could use the extra sleep this morning...been a long week"
"Ya, but with our luck? What are the odds of that?"
"You're right...oh well."
"Ya, he probably heard there was no one on the freeway and wanted to check out his top speed or something."
"Bummer..."

The ride to work: exactly 51 minutes.
Bummer.

Another trick to sleeping on the Bus: Never fully wake up until you get to work.

• This has to start at home. Don't turn on any bright lights...only those little 4 watt night lights. Your eyes stay dilated that way.
• Dress nice and warm. Walking outside into the cold without a coat is a sure way to wake up. Watch out for that.
• Be careful driving...remember, you haven't fully regained consciousness yet.
• After you park, don't slam the door. Loud noises = alertness. That's bad.
• Walk slowly to the bus stop...and time it so you get there only moments before the bus arrives.
• Something to practice while walking...see how far you can go with your eyes closed...I can make it about 12 steps before I just HAVE to open my eyes...but only a crack.
• Engage in as little idle chatter as is socially acceptable.
• Settle into your seat quietly...get your sunglasses on first thing.
• Bundle up into the cocoon and slip back into unconsiousness.
• 1 or 2 minutes and you're out...you won't even remember when the bus left the stop.

Not looking forward to Friday night traffic. Really not.

The Cocoon

The Cocoon. That's about what it looks like, I imagine. I have to imagine because I'm the only one who builds their cocoon each trip. Maybe it looks silly. Do I sound like I care what people think about me? Ok, a little...still. My Mother always said "When you're 20 you worry about what people think about you, and when you're 40 you stop worring, and when you're 60 you realize that everyone was too busy worrying about what YOU thought about THEM to think about you". Well, I'm after 40 and before 60.

It's a science, really...the cocoon. You see, bus temperatures fluctuate dramatically. That's what prompted my first prototype cocoon. It was simple...just my coat used as a blanket. But the cold air would sneak in the back...that was no good. So I found a way to swing the zipper part around my back and quickly lean back on them and effectively stop the draft. Brilliant...g'nite.

But, alas, then came summer. That's when it REALLY gets cold. Most people don't understand this, but for some reason the bus driver thinks that in the winter the bus should be 75 and in the summer the bus should be 68. Never really figured that one out. Seems to me like 75 is good year round. What do I know. So the cold air is blasting out over my head but my first line of defense is in place...only now my legs are getting cold! Yes, it's just that cold. For a while I tried bringing two coats, but in the summer that really looks stupid (I regress back to my 20's and start caring with no warning). So WalMart (China) gets a few of my dollars and I buy a fleece throw blanket, not too big, not too small. And it rolls up and fits in the backpack (a whole nother article, the back pack).

So now the blanket keeps my legs nice and warm. And the trick is the same...imagine. You tuck the blanket in under your legs and it serves two purposes...it keeps your legs from flopping around on those sharp curves and it acts as a good defroster. G'nite.

Lastly is the pillow. Inflatable. Black. $5. Inflatable is important because it deflates (duh) and also because you can set it to just the right "number". Low tech, but effective. Every bus has different seats and each seat has a different pillow comfort number. It's one of those "U" shaped pillows, and it has a picture of some guy (I bet HE's embarassed... he's 20 something) and he puts it around his NECK! I tried it that way...once. Your head flopps around...kind of missing the point. So if you make it an upside down U then it looks normal, but doesn't work well. So the only logical way is to make a right side up U. People say it looks upside down, but remember...between 40 and 60. Comfort is King, and I'm the King of Comfort on the bus.

Tomorrow is Monday, and I'm looking forward to my cocoon!

Friday Morning

As advertised...WAY too short of a commute...strike 1. And I got dropped off at the front door...again...strike 2.

Strike 3, though, was that the Operator wanted to talk with Seat 1D about something. It's very convenient since she is so close, and polite, and says "m hmm" at just the right time to encourage the monologue.

So again Rule #3 was thrown under the bus and crushed. When I'd had enough I moved way back to something like Seat 10C and was finally lulled to sleep by the engine noise and rumbling. I don't care what they say about electric cars and busses...internal combustion Diesel has it's advantages!

50 minute commute...half of it spent listening to Rule #3 being shattered...what a tragedy! I'll try to make it up tonight. The sleep, that is. The time I'm never getting back.
Note to self: research noise-canceling headphones on Google. Gotta be small, though...can't have something interfering with my pillow!

Thursday Night

Did I say this morning's commute was bad? I must have exaggerated like I do a million times a day. Tonight's commute was even worse!

A word about Bus Etiquette. When you put a bunch of people into a confined space with no chance of escape until they reach their destination, you need to have a small set of "rules" that everyone abides by. It cuts down on the chances for conflict...and everyone can sleep a lot better. Think of it as common sense, or common courtesy.

Ok. Rule #1. Be quiet, or silent, which ever is quieter. If almost everyone else on the bus is asleep or trying to appear asleep (you can tell this by a simple trick...look around...if their eyes are closed and they're not looking out the window or reading or something else that insomniacs tend to do) then it's probably best to keep quiet and keep to yourself. Even if there's only one person that is trying to sleep, then out of respect for that one person (and I guarantee it will be the person in Seat 2B) please do your best to let them sleep.

Rule #2. Don't talk on the phone. There is very little that is more annoying to everyone else on the bus than to make them listen to one half of your conversation. Human nature requires us to try to fill in what the other person is saying. Oh, and while you're on the phone try to speak in the common language. Otherwise we have to try to fill in both sides of the conversation at once. Either one of these requires the conscious mind to stay focused, which is really prohibitive to REM sleep, let me tell you.

Rule #3. If someone, anyone (yes even the bus "Operator"...the politically correct term) wants to have a conversation with you, it is your duty, yes, your responsibility, to ignore them completely. Don't let one little "m hmm" or "uh huh" slip out. If you do they will take it as affirmation that you want to participate in a monologue with them. And that monologue will alienate the rest of the I-wanna-be-asleep-ers from you. That is unless you're Seat 1D, who is so sweet, and kind, and motherly that no one could possibly be alienated from her. Everyone else...beware!
After reading these rules, I have come to the conclusion that rules will be broken by the unaware, the uncaring, the conceited or the rude...or maybe by all of the above at once.
So tonight someone...and I won't name them by Seat ID...just couldn't WAIT to tell everyone about their observations from their recent trip, or from their duties at work, or adnauseum. I honestly think they were talking with Seat 1D who is way to polite to obey Rule #3. But the VOLUME of the monologue was astounding! I moved back to Seat 5B (he's on vacation or had to drive in, poor soul) and it was still as clear as the "blue screen of death" is to the fact that you just lost everything. I put ear plugs in (a standard required piece of equipment for long-haul commuters) and I could STILL hear EVERY word! Next time I'm moving to the very back of the bus where the engine is so loud that it drowns out everything else except that "I'm so funny, I just KILL me!" laughter. NOTHING can drown that out!

Thursday Morning

This morning the commute was TERRIBLE. Maybe it was because it was the day before Good Friday and everyone was taking a 4 day weekend. Dunno. I DO know that there was no one on the freeway...practically deserted. The bus flew in to work today...I only got to sleep for about 50 minutes! That's hardly any nap at all! I count on a full hour each way.

And to top it all off (probably because we were so early) they went out of their way and dropped me off practically at my office door! For CRYING OUT LOUD! I need to walk at least a block to wake up. So I walk in all groggy-eyed and the one or two people that get in before me say "What happened to you? Bad commute?".
And I say "Ya less than an hour".
"Oh, sorry about that...maybe it will be better tomorrow".
They don't understand commuting from the Central Valley. Tomorrow will be Friday. Fridays always have the worst commute in the morning, so we get in really early, and Friday night we have to sit with all of the weekend campers heading for the foothills so it's a really long ride home...hour and a half plus sometimes. Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants a slow commute home...ESPECIALLY on Friday. But it always happens. So that leaves Monday...gotta love the Monday commute. It's always a GREAT nap...barely creeping along the freeway...very restful. Ah Monday.

My history of bus riding goes back only as far as the "Legendary" RTS bus. And I mean "Legend" literally. This is the GMC RTS Legend. Ours had a collapsible bike rack on the front which was used about 1/10th of 1 percent of the time. Our old bus driver hated it...you can't tailgate someone NEARLY as effectively with the bike rack extended. Oh, there will be more on our old bus driver later, trust me!

This is (was, really) the classic workhorse commuter bus in use all over the nation. This picture, however, was NOT taken in California. C'mon! It never rains in California...duh! This slow, heavy, lumbering bus got me to work every day for years and years. It has two doors, in front and almost all the way in the rear. Which reminds me (here comes a story...get used to this part)...

Way back when, years ago, we had one of these busses that had a problem closing the back door. In fact, the only way to get the back door closed was to shut down the bus! Something about the pneumatic system that operated the door. Anyway, this little problem presented itself one day going down the freeway at top speed (it was a light traffic day on the way home). Well, the back door managed to work its way open just a "crack", but that was enough for the safety system to engage. Did I mention that when any of the doors open the safety system automatically engages the parking brake? No? Well it does. So going something like 60 down the freeway the bus comes to a grinding halt...in the middle lane. Trucks are FLYING by...cars are honking. During this "event" either no one thought to turn off the bus in the chaos, or that simply didn't work. I think it was the woman in Seat 2D that thought of popping out the fuse that engaged the "safety system" so we wouldn't get rear-ended by a Semi. (I'll refer to different riders by their seat number...to protect the innocent and all that). Seat 2D has been riding longer than ANYone on the bus...she knows the day she started, and she knows all about the bus! So imagine everyone sitting calmly in their seats (gripping the arm rest with white knuckles, with their head pressed firmly to the back of the seat, anticipating the imminent impact) when the bus lurches forward. Fortunately it lurched because the parking brake was disengaged. We sloooowly (remember "lumbering"?) got back up to speed and went on as if nothing had happened. NOT! I don't think anyone splept the rest of the way home...highly unusual. Good blog-fodder that day, even though no one knew what a "blog" was, not even hi-tech me.

Well, we all survived. They never fixed the problem permanently. We just told any new bus drivers not to ever open the back door, for any reason. So I guess the problem really WAS solved permanently.

Gotta love riding the bus.

California Commuting

Ah, the joys and trials of commuting in California. Northern California, really, from the Central Valley to the "East Bay" and back again. Twice daily. We join hundreds of thousands of others as we crawl across the valley, over "the hill" and into the world of high tech.

As we roll along in bumper-to-bumper traffic we feel a sense of family with the other commuters out there in the dark. It's the kind of family where we don't talk, or make eye contact in any way. It's really "us" and "them". WE ride the bus and sleep on the way to work. THEY are sitting all by themselves in their car or SUV and have to pay atention. They wouldn't have it any other way and neither would we. They fight for position with all the other cars out there, while we search for just the right position in our seats where sleep comes sweetly and quickly.

I've been riding the bus for something like 8 years now. IMHO I'm an expert. I've slept for thousands of commute miles. Consider this: 50 miles each way, 100 round trip, 500 per week, for about 50 weeks a year. That's about 25 THOUSAND miles a year. Times that by 8 and you come up with 200,000 miles sitting in Seat 2B while someone else drives. And THAT makes me an expert.

This Blog is about those 200,000 miles and the drama that unfolds as we travel, or sometimes as we WAIT to travel. Most of the other riders have been riding as long or longer than me, so we're really a tight knit family of sorts, each in their own little semi-vertical, semi-horizontal world. We watch out for each other. We bother each other. Sadly, we even have to smell each other. More later on that...sorry.

This Blog is also for my Brother. Without whom I would be living out in the country, hoeing weeds and kicking dirt clods, and trying to make a living out of dirt, rain, seed and sweat. But thanks to his advice I'm in the computer business. He thinks I'm a nerd. Maybe he's right. Don't tell him. Anyway, whenever he calls the first words I hear are "How ya doin' nerd? How's Seat 2B or 3A or whatever it is?". And I say "It's Seat 2B and it's the same as it always is.", which is a lie, because it's absolutely NEVER the same. If it was the same, why would I be Blogging about it? That would be boring. You be the judge.