Thursday Night

Did I say this morning's commute was bad? I must have exaggerated like I do a million times a day. Tonight's commute was even worse!

A word about Bus Etiquette. When you put a bunch of people into a confined space with no chance of escape until they reach their destination, you need to have a small set of "rules" that everyone abides by. It cuts down on the chances for conflict...and everyone can sleep a lot better. Think of it as common sense, or common courtesy.

Ok. Rule #1. Be quiet, or silent, which ever is quieter. If almost everyone else on the bus is asleep or trying to appear asleep (you can tell this by a simple trick...look around...if their eyes are closed and they're not looking out the window or reading or something else that insomniacs tend to do) then it's probably best to keep quiet and keep to yourself. Even if there's only one person that is trying to sleep, then out of respect for that one person (and I guarantee it will be the person in Seat 2B) please do your best to let them sleep.

Rule #2. Don't talk on the phone. There is very little that is more annoying to everyone else on the bus than to make them listen to one half of your conversation. Human nature requires us to try to fill in what the other person is saying. Oh, and while you're on the phone try to speak in the common language. Otherwise we have to try to fill in both sides of the conversation at once. Either one of these requires the conscious mind to stay focused, which is really prohibitive to REM sleep, let me tell you.

Rule #3. If someone, anyone (yes even the bus "Operator"...the politically correct term) wants to have a conversation with you, it is your duty, yes, your responsibility, to ignore them completely. Don't let one little "m hmm" or "uh huh" slip out. If you do they will take it as affirmation that you want to participate in a monologue with them. And that monologue will alienate the rest of the I-wanna-be-asleep-ers from you. That is unless you're Seat 1D, who is so sweet, and kind, and motherly that no one could possibly be alienated from her. Everyone else...beware!
After reading these rules, I have come to the conclusion that rules will be broken by the unaware, the uncaring, the conceited or the rude...or maybe by all of the above at once.
So tonight someone...and I won't name them by Seat ID...just couldn't WAIT to tell everyone about their observations from their recent trip, or from their duties at work, or adnauseum. I honestly think they were talking with Seat 1D who is way to polite to obey Rule #3. But the VOLUME of the monologue was astounding! I moved back to Seat 5B (he's on vacation or had to drive in, poor soul) and it was still as clear as the "blue screen of death" is to the fact that you just lost everything. I put ear plugs in (a standard required piece of equipment for long-haul commuters) and I could STILL hear EVERY word! Next time I'm moving to the very back of the bus where the engine is so loud that it drowns out everything else except that "I'm so funny, I just KILL me!" laughter. NOTHING can drown that out!